Updated on May 5, 2025
Marriage is one of the most significant commitments you’ll ever make. It’s exciting and meaningful—but also complex. Love is essential, but it’s not the only thing that keeps a relationship strong. Honest conversations about your future can help you avoid misunderstandings and build a lasting partnership.
Here are five important topics to discuss with your partner before getting married.
1. Long-Term Goals and Aspirations
Where do you see yourself in five or ten years? What kind of life are you building toward? These questions matter—and not just individually. You and your partner are building a life together, so it’s essential to understand each other’s hopes, dreams, and direction.
Do you want to settle down in one place or travel often? Are there career goals or educational paths you wish to pursue? Are you dreaming of starting a business, or would you rather prioritize flexibility and free time? Talk about what success looks like for each of you. It doesn’t mean your goals must be identical, but they should be compatible.
When couples grow in the same direction, it strengthens the relationship. These conversations can help clarify what matters most and how you’ll support each other in reaching those goals.
2. Finances and Shared Responsibilities
Money can be one of the most significant sources of stress in a relationship. That’s why it’s better to have clear, honest conversations about finances early on.
Talk through the basics: How do you each approach saving and spending? Do you have debt or financial obligations? Will you combine finances or keep them separate? What are your views on budgeting, big purchases, and financial goals?
Also, consider how household responsibilities will be shared. Who handles what at home, and is the current setup working for both of you? These conversations may not feel romantic, but they lay the groundwork for trust, fairness, and teamwork.
If discussing money or responsibilities tends to spark tension, couples therapy can offer a neutral, supportive space to work through these topics.
3. Parenthood: Yes, No, or Unsure?
Children change everything. Before marriage, it’s essential to ask: Do we both want kids? If so, when? And how do we want to raise them?
Discuss parenting philosophies, family values, and how you imagine dividing responsibilities. Talk about your own upbringings—what you want to pass on and what you’d like to do differently. Even if children are a few years away (or not on the table), having these conversations early creates alignment and trust.
It’s also smart to discuss logistics, like financial planning for children or how child-rearing might affect careers or daily routines. Being prepared doesn’t guarantee a smooth path but helps you feel like you’re facing it as a team.
4. Conflict and Communication Styles
Every couple has disagreements. What matters most is how you handle them.
Start by reflecting on how you each approach conflict. Are you more direct or avoidant? Do you need time to cool off, or prefer to resolve things immediately? Talk about what works—and what doesn’t—when things get tense.
You can also discuss what support looks like during challenging conversations. Some people feel heard when their partner gives advice; others want to feel understood. Naming these differences can prevent misunderstandings before they happen.
If past arguments have left you feeling stuck, therapy can help improve communication skills and reduce recurring conflicts. Learning how to fight fair—and repair well—can make all the difference.
5. Beliefs, Traditions, and Cultural Backgrounds
Religion, spirituality, and culture shape our values, habits, and expectations. Even if you and your partner share similar views, it’s still important to discuss how these parts of your identity appear in daily life.
Do you want to observe holidays or rituals in a certain way? How might different backgrounds influence how you raise kids? Will you attend services together—or not? These questions help clarify expectations and avoid surprises down the road.
Even if your beliefs aren’t central to your relationship, discussing them shows respect and curiosity for one another’s story.
Start with Honest Conversations
Marriage is a journey, and no couple has it all figured out before they begin. But the more open and curious you are now, the stronger your foundation will be.
If these conversations feel overwhelming or complicated to start, that’s okay. You don’t have to do it alone. Our therapists at Firefly Therapy Austin are here to help couples navigate these crucial topics with care and clarity. Schedule a consultation to start building your future together with confidence.
Firefly Therapy Austin offers affordable, effective therapy in Austin, Texas.
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