Values work is simple at heart. Your personal values act like an internal compass that helps you choose what matters in daily life and protects your mental health when things get noisy. When you align with your guiding principles, decisions feel clearer and your day has a steadier rhythm. When you drift, you often feel “off,” even if you cannot name why.
This guide stays practical. You will learn what values are, how to discover your own core values, and how to use them in everyday choices without turning the process into homework. Think of it as gentle self-reflection with tools you can use for personal development, goal setting, and personal growth.
What Core Values Are
Values are deeply held principles that guide how you show up. They are not goals you check off. Goals end, but values keep directing you after the goal is finished. Your values form a value system that shapes choices across work, relationships, and free time.
Examples from a list of values:
Honesty, curiosity, compassion, growth, service, creativity, connection, dependability, fairness, risk-taking
- Not “run a marathon,” but “care for my health.”
- Not “get promoted,” but “contribute and keep learning.”
Research in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) shows that clarifying values and taking small, consistent actions improves well-being and follow-through. You do not need perfect science language to benefit. You only need a simple process and a little honesty.
Signs You May Be Out of Alignment
You do not need a crisis to start values work. Still, these signs often point to a gap between what matters and where your time goes:
- Busy all day, strangely empty at night.
- Decisions drag because every option feels wrong in a different way.
- Saying yes when you mean no, then feeling resentful or drained.
- Work looks good on paper but conflicts with how you want to live.
- Tension in certain relationships you cannot quite name.
How to Find Your Values
1. Gather Honest Clues
Set a 10-minute timer for each prompt. Write fast. No editing.
- When did I feel most alive in the past year? What was I doing and with whom?
- Who are my role models and why? List qualities, not job titles.
- Which life experiences shaped me most? What did they teach me?
- What situations spark frustration or resentment? Irritation often points to crossed values.
- If no one judged me, what would I do with my free time?
2. Make a Long List
Brain-dump words and phrases that matter to you. It helps to skim a list of values and circle anything that gives you a strong body “yes.” That physical pull is useful data for self-awareness.
3. Cluster and Choose Your “Top Five”
Group near-duplicates. Integrity and honesty often sit together. Add a few that reflect your personality type, such as steadiness (dependability) or risk-taking. Ask: If I could only live by five, would I still feel like myself? Sit with it for a day and see what sticks. These become your top values.
4. Translate Values Into Visible Behaviors
Pick one small action for each value. Keep it easy to do this week. This is values-informed goal setting without the pressure. In other words, you set goals that match your guiding principles.
| Value | One visible behavior this week |
|---|---|
| Connection | Text a friend to set up a walk with family members welcome. |
| Growth | Read 10 pages before bed. |
| Health | Protect a 20-minute lunch outside for self-care. |
| Curiosity | Ask one genuine question in every meeting. |
| Service | Offer help on one task without being asked. |
5. Run a One-Week Experiment
Put those five actions on your calendar. At week’s end, ask:
- Where did I live my values?
- What small change would bring me closer to who I want to be next week?
Small wins count. Repetition matters more than intensity. This is self-development and self-improvement done gently.
Use Your Values in Decisions
When you face a choice, try this quick filter:
- Which option moves me one step closer to my values?
- What cost will I pay if I ignore them here?
- What would my future self thank me for?
Apply the filter to your career path (projects to accept, roles to pursue), daily life (how you spend evenings), and relationships (what boundaries protect a fulfilling life). If two values clash, name the tension out loud. Security and adventure often compete. Choose the next step that honors both, even if one gets more weight today.
Common Roadblocks
- Aspirational values vs. real values
If a value only shows up on paper, test it. Try one small behavior for a week. If it never fits, release it. - Work or family mismatch
You may not control the system around you. You can still align one part of your day. Protect a boundary, change one routine, or reshape a task so it fits your values a little better. - Too many values
Start with five. Add a sixth later if it keeps tugging your sleeve. - Guilt when you choose differently
Values clarify trade-offs. Name the trade-off, then choose on purpose rather than by habit. - Values change
Your value system can evolve as seasons shift, such as new roles, health changes, parenthood, or grief. Review your list twice a year and update your value statement if needed.
Write a One-Sentence Value Statement
Turn your five into a short value statement or a simple vision statement you can remember:
“I choose connection, health, curiosity, service, and growth, and I let these guide how I work, rest, and relate.”
Tape it near your desk. Let it steer how you plan, spend free time, and say yes or no.
Weekly Check-In
Set a repeating 10-minute reminder.
- How did I live my values? Write two concrete moments.
- Where did I drift? Pick one tiny adjustment for next week.
- Any value that needs a new behavior? Update it.
This short practice builds psychological flexibility, which research links to better mood, steadier habits, and long-term personal growth.
Bring Your Values to Life
You are not inventing a better self. You are noticing what has been true and letting it steer your best life. Your personal values help you choose the next right step in work, home, and self-care, one small decision at a time.
If you want support clarifying your own core values and using them for goal setting in a way that fits real life, we are here to help. Get started with Firefly Therapy Austin.