Updated on July 17, 2025
Some decisions feel easy—what to wear or what to eat—but others, like changing jobs, ending a relationship, or choosing a new path in life, can feel overwhelming. When the stakes are high or the options unclear, it’s natural to feel stuck.
The good news? Decision-making is a skill. With the proper support and a step-by-step approach, you can feel more confident navigating tough choices. Therapy can also play a significant role by helping you clarify what matters most, sort through emotions, and move forward without regret.
Here are six practical steps to help you make thoughtful, values-based decisions, with real-life examples and ways a therapist can support you.
1. Recognize There’s a Decision to Be Made
Sometimes we live in discomfort without realizing we’re avoiding a decision. That uneasy feeling, like stress, burnout, or frustration, might be your mind telling you it’s time to reassess something important.
Example:
You’ve been feeling disconnected at work and coming home drained. You haven’t decided whether to leave, but the discomfort is a sign that a decision is waiting to be made.
How therapy can help:
A therapist can help you name the problem, explore what’s causing the tension, and uncover the decision hiding underneath. Naming it out loud is often the first relief.
2. Get Clear on Your Core Values
Every decision you make is filtered through your values, whether you realize it or not. The more clearly you understand what matters most to you, the easier it is to weigh your options.
Reflection prompts:
- What kind of life do I want to build?
- What do I want more of, and what do I want less of?
- Does this decision move me closer to what matters?
Example:
You’re choosing between a high-paying job with long hours and a lower-paying one that allows more time with family. If connection and balance are your top values, the second option is more aligned with those values, even if the salary is lower.
How therapy can help:
Therapists are trained to help you explore what drives you. They can offer tools like values clarification exercises or help you notice patterns in your decisions.
3. Gather Information Without Rushing
Once you know what matters, it’s time to get the facts. Research. Ask questions. Consider how each path plays out in real life. This part is about learning, not deciding yet.
Tip:
Break information into categories like emotional, practical, financial, and social. Use notes or a journal to organize your thoughts.
Example:
If you’re considering moving to a new city, look into the cost of living, job opportunities, community resources, and how it would impact your relationships or mental health.
How therapy can help:
Therapy can be a thinking space. Your therapist can help you sort through feelings that come up during research, like fear, excitement, or doubt, and keep you grounded in what matters most.
4. Use a Pros and Cons List That Reflects Your Values
Pros and cons lists work best when they’re not just surface-level. They should include emotional, financial, and long-term implications, not just logistics.
Example table:
| Option A: Stay in Current Job | Option B: Take New Job |
|---|---|
| Stable income | Higher salary |
| Close to family and friends | Requires relocation |
| Feels stagnant, little growth | Offers challenge and learning |
| Predictable hours | Demanding schedule |
How therapy can help:
Therapists can help you go beyond the list by asking questions like, “Which of these carries more weight for you?” or “What does this choice say about the life you want to create?”
5. Talk It Out with People You Trust
You don’t have to make hard decisions in isolation. Talking things through with someone you trust can bring clarity, even if they don’t give advice.
Example:
You’re thinking of going back to school. A friend who made a similar change might offer helpful insight about managing time, finances, and stress.
Reminder:
Advice is helpful, but you should make the final decision. What works for someone else might not fit your life, values, or priorities.
How therapy can help:
Therapy provides a space where you can think out loud, free from judgment or pressure. A therapist won’t push you toward a specific choice. Instead, they’ll help you listen to yourself more clearly.
6. Reflect on the Decision and Adjust if Needed
Once you’ve made your decision, pause and reflect. Does this choice feel aligned with your goals, values, and well-being? There’s no shame in adjusting if new information comes up or something doesn’t feel right.
Tip:
Give yourself credit for being intentional, even if the choice feels imperfect. Most decisions aren’t permanent. They evolve as your life does.
Example:
You chose to move to a new city but are feeling lonely. That doesn’t mean it was the wrong choice. It might just mean you need time or new strategies to adjust.
How therapy can help:
A therapist can help you work through post-decision feelings like doubt, regret, or fear and stay grounded in why you made the choice.
Extra Tips for Decision-Making
- Slow down. Take time to breathe, journal, or rest. Pressure can cloud judgment.
- Visualize outcomes. Imagine yourself one year from now. What does life look like after each choice?
- Accept imperfect decisions. Every option has trade-offs. Focus on making the best choice with the information you have right now.
- Use a decision journal. Writing down your thought process can help you look back and see patterns or clarify your reasoning.
You Don’t Have to Decide Alone
Life is full of choices. Some big, some small, and some deeply personal. If you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure how to move forward, you’re not alone. Therapy can help you explore your values, organize your thoughts, and build confidence in your decisions.
At Firefly Therapy Austin, our experienced therapists are here to help you find clarity in the midst of uncertainty. Schedule a consultation today and start making decisions that support who you are and where you want to go.