Single Parenting: Ways to Cope with the Challenges

By Lindsey Schmid, LPC-A

Updated on August 18, 2025

It’s 2 AM. Your child has a fever; your boss needs that report by 9. Welcome to single parenting, where you’re not just juggling. You’re running the whole circus with no intermission.

You’re in charge of every ring: childcare, work, bills, bedtime stories, broken faucets, and the steady stream of emotional support your kids need. Whether you’re racing from downtown Austin to pick up from an after-school program in Pflugerville (thanks, Austin traffic), mentally planning tomorrow’s day while stuck on I-35, or trying to maintain work-life balance while managing a full-time job, you’re doing it all. Because most of that hard work happens behind the scenes, it rarely gets the credit it deserves. Or the help.

Let’s talk about what makes this burden one of the biggest challenges of solo parenting, how it affects your well-being and mental health, and some practical, research-backed self-care strategies to lighten the load.

The Mental Load Single Parents Carry

Think of all the mental tabs you have open right now. Tomorrow’s lunch, next week’s soccer sign-up, that dental form still crumpled in the backpack, your kid’s tears after a rough day at school, your own work emails piling up. When co-parenting isn’t an option, you can’t trade off those tabs with a partner. Extended family or close friends might help sometimes, but the full-time responsibility lands on you.

Research shows that single parents rarely have enough time for everything, experiencing significantly more stress and fatigue than parents who share caregiving. Single mothers are twice as likely to report depressive or anxiety symptoms compared to partnered mothers, with approximately 30% experiencing these symptoms. The unique challenges go beyond just the number of tasks. The work-life balance seems impossible, as does the financial strain of one income and carrying it all alone every single day.

How These Challenges Show Up in Your Mind and Body

The weight of solo parenting doesn’t just affect your schedule. It settles into your body and can impact your child’s development too:

  • Chronic stress: Too much cortisol wrecks your sleep, fogs your memory, and tanks your immune system
  • Depression and anxiety: Single parents experience depression at rates almost three times higher than the general population, often accompanied by low self-esteem
  • Burnout: The constant caregiving without quality time for yourself can leave you feeling numb, snappy, or just checked out
  • Feelings of loneliness: Even when surrounded by people, the unique challenges of solo parenting can feel isolating

It’s common to feel guilty about asking for help. Like needing support somehow means you’re failing. But here’s the truth: taking care of your mental health IS taking care of your family.

Five Ways to Ease the Load

(Pick ONE to Try This Week)

Strategy #1: Aim for “Good Enough”

Psychologist Donald Winnicott introduced the concept of good enough parenting in 1953, showing that children need someone who’s there and responsive most of the time, not perfect. Your children don’t need Pinterest-worthy lunches or color-coded chore charts. They need a present, caring role model who’s doing their best. So lower that bar to “good enough” and tell perfectionism to take a hike.

Strategy #2: Build Your Support System

Villages are great, but they’re not always available in modern Austin. So instead of waiting for a village to appear, weave yourself a web of social support:

Start with one neighbor who might swap pickup duties once a week. Ask that coworker who loves cooking for their go-to cheap dinner ideas. Join support groups online or in person for single parents. Check out local resources like Any Baby Can for family programs, or consider Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central Texas if your child could benefit from an additional role model.

Even quick conversations with your barista or the parent next to you at swim lessons provide social support. Studies show these small connections actually boost resilience. You’re not looking for one person to be everything. You’re creating multiple touchpoints of support throughout your week.

Strategy #3: Try Self-Compassion (Seriously)

When everything falls apart (because it will), try this instead of beating yourself up:

First, acknowledge that this is hard. Say it out loud if you need to: “This is really hard right now.” Then remember that every single parent has been exactly where you are, probably this week. Finally, talk to yourself like you’d talk to your best friend facing these same challenges. What would you say to them?

Dr. Kristin Neff’s research proves that being kind to yourself actually calms your nervous system and helps you bounce back faster. This isn’t fluff; it’s neuroscience that supports your well-being.

Strategy #4: Reset Your Nervous System in Under 10 Minutes

When you’re short on time but need quick self-care, these resets can bring you back:

Box breathing works fast: Inhale for 4 → Hold for 4 → Exhale for 4 → Hold for 4 (Repeat 3 times and notice the shift)

The 5-4-3-2-1 technique grounds you:

  • 5 things you can see
  • 4 things you can touch
  • 3 things you can hear
  • 2 things you can smell
  • 1 thing you can taste

It pulls you right back to the present.

A 10-minute walk changes everything: Research confirms that even 10 minutes of walking shifts your brain chemistry. Head to one of Austin’s trails if you can, but honestly? Pacing your apartment while your kids watch TV totally counts as self-care.

Strategy #5: Share the Emotional Labor

You don’t have to be everyone’s everything. Start small:

Teach your kids to name what they’re feeling (“Sounds like you’re frustrated about that”). Help them identify other trusted adults, like extended family members or teachers, they can talk to. Let them take on age-appropriate tasks in your daily routine. Even 5-year-olds can pack their own backpack or put their dishes in the sink.

Carve out quality time by combining necessary tasks with connection. Spending time together doesn’t always mean special outings. Grocery shopping can become a chance to talk about their day. Cooking dinner together teaches life skills while you catch up.

And protect your energy. Say no to that extra volunteer shift you don’t want to do. Use H-E-B curbside pickup when you’re exhausted. Some things don’t matter as much as your sanity and having enough time for what counts.

Redefine What Strength Looks Like

Real strength isn’t about juggling more. It’s knowing when to set something down, when to rest, and when to ask family members or close friends to step in. Yes, we need systemic changes to better support single-parent families. Better policies, affordable childcare, all of it. But while we’re waiting for those changes, these small steps can help you stay afloat.

You’re doing one of the most demanding jobs out there, requiring incredible hard work and dedication. And on those nights when you’re eating lukewarm mac and cheese at 9 PM while helping with homework and silently wondering how you’ll make it through tomorrow? You’re not failing. You’re showing up as a good parent. And that’s everything.

Your Next Step

This week, just pick ONE thing from this list. One. Maybe it’s trying box breathing tomorrow morning before the chaos starts. Maybe it’s texting that neighbor about sharing after school pickups. Whatever you choose, remember that prioritizing self-care isn’t selfish. It’s how you keep going.

Ready for more personalized support? Firefly Therapy Austin specializes in helping single parents find sustainable ways to manage their unique challenges. Fill out our contact form, and we’ll connect with you about the next steps.

Austin Resources for Single Parents

Remember: Asking for help isn’t giving up. It’s gearing up.

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