Updated on June 19, 2024
1: Choose Someone You Like
Choosing a therapist is similar to dating. You might meet someone nice but still not feel a connection. Your friend might rave about their therapist, but you might not click with them. It’s not that the therapist is bad; the relationship just doesn’t work for you.
Different therapists have various strengths and methods. You don’t need to see dozens of therapists, but you should use the first few sessions to see how you feel. If it doesn’t feel right, that’s okay. You can always ask for a referral to someone else. Remember, the goal is to feel comfortable and supported.
2: You Have Responsibilities
Personal change often takes time and energy, and it involves effort from both you and your therapist. During the week, take some time to reflect on what was discussed in your session.
Think about what you found helpful, what might have needed to be clarified, or what feels unaddressed. Consider what you’d like to focus on in your next session.
Ideas to consider:
- Therapy Journal: Keep a journal to write down your thoughts and reflections.
- Practice Exercises: If you’ve practiced a therapy exercise, try it during the week and note how you feel.
- Homework Assignments: If your therapist gives you homework, do your best to complete it.
Different people have different needs in therapy. Generally, those who invest more effort tend to see better results. By actively engaging in the process, you help yourself to make the most of your therapy. You are worth the effort!
3: Have goals
Having some goals in mind when you start therapy is a great idea. They don’t need to be super specific. Think about what you want to work on. Having goals will help us know if therapy is moving you closer to achieving them. Keep track of your progress and adjust as needed.
4: Tell me your strengths
Focusing on problems in therapy is common, but what are your strengths? What hobbies do you enjoy? Who are the people you care about? What personal qualities do you appreciate in yourself?
Often, the key to overcoming challenges lies in the strengths and resources you already possess. Share them with me!
5: Ask Questions & Give Feedback
Therapy works best when it’s a two-way street. You should ask why a strategy or a specific statement was recommended. Your therapist wants to know what’s working for you and what’s not.
Example Questions to Ask:
- Why did you ask that question?
- Why are you suggesting this strategy?
If you think a strategy won’t work for you, say why. This helps your therapist tailor the approach to better suit your needs. Your feedback is crucial. Keep sharing your thoughts and reactions; it helps make the sessions more effective.
6: Stop Worrying About Me
It’s natural to worry about what your therapist thinks of you. You might fear being seen as “weird” or “crazy” or wonder if sharing painful memories is too much. Remember, therapy is about you. I’m here to support you. Your well-being is my priority.
Key Points to Remember:
- Your concerns are normal.
- Therapy focuses on your needs and healing.
- I practice self-care to be present for our sessions.
Let’s keep our focus on your journey and progress. Your feelings and experiences are important. Please don’t hold back because of worries about my reactions. You’re not a burden—you’re making strides in your healing.
7: Lean into the Discomfort
Opening up about your feelings can be challenging, especially regarding sensitive topics. It’s normal to feel uneasy when discussing specific issues. Building trust with a new therapist takes time, so don’t feel you need to share everything right away. It’s okay to set boundaries and decide what you are comfortable discussing.
Why Lean into Discomfort?
Encountering uncomfortable topics during therapy can be essential for growth. Often, the most significant progress happens when you face these challenges. It might feel tough initially, but discussing these uncomfortable subjects can help you understand and address deeper issues.
Addressing Patterns in Relationships
You might notice that problems you face in therapy also appear in other relationships. For instance:
- Feeling judged
- Feeling smothered
- Feeling unappreciated
It’s common to want to repeat behaviors like blaming yourself, acting out, or withdrawing. Instead, it’s beneficial to talk about these feelings with your therapist. This approach helps to prevent repeating negative patterns and fosters healthier ways of resolving conflicts.
Working through Conflict
Therapy provides a safe space to resolve conflicts and feel empowered. Addressing and working through these issues together can strengthen your therapy experience. By leaning into discomfort and discussing challenging topics, you become more equipped to handle similar situations in your everyday life. Working through these conflicts can lead to healing and personal growth.
8: You Can Experiment
Is there something new you want to try out? Please bring it to therapy! You may be looking to set more boundaries. You may want to express your emotions more openly. There may be a part of you you’re nervous to discuss with others.
Therapy is a safe place for that. Consider your therapist a sounding board. Let therapy be your experimental space.
9: Be Honest About Your Safety
As your therapist, my duty is to prevent and report certain forms of harm, including child abuse, neglect, abuse of people with disabilities, and elder abuse. If you are experiencing suicidal or homicidal thoughts, it is important to speak openly about this with me.
Communicating about these thoughts doesn’t always mean you are in immediate danger. It is crucial for me to know when you are “actively” feeling these urges. If you talk about having these thoughts in general, it helps me understand your mental state without jumping to emergency measures.
In situations where you are at immediate risk, I will work to get you to a safe place, like a hospital. We can develop a safety plan together if the risk is not immediate. This plan can include strategies to keep you safe and steps to improve your mental well-being. Feeling safe and supported is vital in therapy. Sharing your honest experiences helps me better support you.
Be open, be honest, and know that your safety is my priority.
10: You Are Worth the Work
You are worth the work. Sometimes, people believe their problems are too big for therapy to help. Others might feel their issues aren’t serious enough to warrant therapy. Some might even think of both thoughts at the same time.
Therapy looks different for everyone. Sessions with someone in crisis might not be the same as those with someone seeking to boost their creativity. Regardless of the situation, striving for wellness and personal growth is always valuable. It would be an honor to support you in this work.
Firefly Therapy Austin is Affordable, Effective Therapy for Austin, Texas.
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