You’ve handled every crisis on your own and built your career without leaning on anyone. Figured out your problems in the middle of the night when everyone else was asleep. And you’re exhausted. There’s a particular kind of loneliness that comes from being the person who never needs help. Friends stop asking how you’re doing …
We live in a culture that celebrates self-sufficiency. “I don’t need anyone,” we tell ourselves proudly. “I’ve got this handled.” But what happens when our independence leaves us feeling trapped and makes us believe we can’t rely on anyone? Toxic independence is the belief that asking for help is a weakness, that vulnerability is dangerous, …
Childhood can be a time of wonder, growth, and safety. Yet for millions of people, early years are marked by experiences that leave lasting scars—not just emotional ones, but physiological changes that can affect health and wellbeing for decades to come. These experiences are known as Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs. Understanding them is an …
You used to know who you were. Now you stand in the grocery store, staring at cereal boxes, unable to make a simple decision. The you from two years ago had opinions about everything. This version of you can barely remember what you like for breakfast. Or maybe it shows up differently. You snap at …
You’re a social worker, and you just closed your laptop after documenting your second child abuse case this week. You drive home, but you can’t stop seeing that little girl’s face. At dinner, your partner asks about your day, and you snap at them over nothing. Later, you lie awake replaying the conversation with the …
Hypervigilance is often associated with trauma responses. It shows up in those moments when the nervous system kicks into high alert, scanning your surroundings for danger, even when none is immediately present. While we typically think of this in the context of personal safety, hypervigilance can also quietly infiltrate the workplace, affecting performance, relationships, and …
In the journey of parenting, we bring our whole selves—our hopes, values, and sometimes, our wounds. One of the less visible but deeply influential patterns that can shape our parenting is hypervigilance. It often appears quietly, but it can significantly impact both how we respond to our children and how they learn to feel safe …
Friendship is often felt as a safe harbor, a place where we can rest, be seen, and feel understood. But for many of us who carry histories of trauma, abuse, or betrayal, even the safest shores can feel unpredictable. Hypervigilance, a typical trauma response, can shape how we approach relationships, leaving us caught between craving …
In a world that often demands more than we can comfortably give, the body can shift into a state of hypervigilance—a constant sense of alertness and readiness to react. This is a survival response, rooted in our nervous system, but when it becomes chronic, it can feel exhausting, overwhelming, and difficult to shift out of. …
Have you ever felt stuck in high alert mode, like your mind won’t stop scanning for what might go wrong? Maybe you feel the tension in your shoulders, your jaw, your gut — and even in moments that should feel safe, your body is ready for something bad to happen. That’s hypervigilance. And it can …
You notice your partner freeze when a car backfires outside. They wake up from nightmares but won’t talk about what they dreamed. Simple things like crowds or unexpected sounds make them tense in ways that break your heart. You want to help, but you’re not sure how to reach them when they seem so far …
Parenting is one of the most rewarding and challenging roles in life. It can bring deep connection, joy, and love—but for many, it also comes with fear, self-doubt, and old wounds from childhood. If you grew up in a home with intergenerational trauma, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), or emotionally unavailable caregivers, you might struggle with …
Trauma leaves deep imprints on how we see ourselves and navigate the world. If your early childhood lacked consistent emotional support or stability, you might feel the effects today as self-doubt, anxiety, or difficulty building healthy relationships. You might find yourself constantly apologizing for having needs or feeling like a burden to others. Healing is …
Breathing is something we do without thinking, every moment of our lives. It’s the first thing we do when we enter the world and the last thing we do before we leave. But beyond keeping us alive, our breath is also one of the most powerful tools for healing—especially for those recovering from trauma. If …
The sadness crept in months after the car accident. You healed physically, went back to work, resumed your routine. But something shifted. Mornings feel heavier. Small tasks drain you. Your mind cycles through worst-case scenarios you never worried about before. You’re not imagining this connection between your trauma and how you’ve been feeling lately. When …
In our fast-paced, mind-centered world, it’s easy to think of our bodies as simply the vessels that carry us through life. But they do much more than that—they hold onto our experiences, both joyful and painful. When we go through trauma, it doesn’t just affect our thoughts and emotions. It can leave lasting imprints on …
Trauma leaves a lasting imprint on both the mind and body, often in ways we don’t fully understand. One of the most common responses to trauma is dissociation—a sense of disconnect from reality, emotions, or even from your own body. For many trauma survivors, dissociation can feel like zoning out, watching life from a distance …
It’s been a year since the car accident. You walked away with minor injuries, and everyone told you how lucky you were. But lately, you’ve noticed something strange: every time you get in a car, your heart races. You avoid highways. You snap at your partner for no reason. You’re exhausted all the time, but …
How Does Trauma Disrupt Sleep? Trauma can touch every part of life, including sleep. After a difficult event, you might notice nightmares, frequent awakenings, or long stretches of staring at the ceiling. Many people feel stuck in a cycle of poor sleep at night and low energy during the day. Evidence shows that trauma and …
Why Trauma Makes It Hard to Trust Yourself Self-trust allows us to feel confident in our decisions, set boundaries, and navigate life autonomously. But when trauma occurs—whether from childhood experiences, abusive relationships, or a sudden, life-altering event—it can shatter that trust. Many trauma survivors struggle to believe in themselves, questioning their instincts, choices, and even …